Clubis

I will take a brief respite from these rather controversial topics and instead show you the results of a very interesting survey I conducted last week that is more fascinating than factual.

The design of this survey was to discover the attitudes people today have concerning happiness. St. Peter requested my service in this study on behalf of a select group of the more famous and holy martyr-saints. 

  

This survey was administered in my hometown, which is only slightly ambiguous, and was taken by selected individuals found roaming about. The method used to select the respondents was based on the multifaceted-compound structure philosophy of Stennmúrtis, which suggests choosing respondents based on good looks, perceived wealth, and overall coolness. Due to meager numbers, 100% of the people present were polled. Each of the following five questions were asked orally to each individual: 

  

1. Do you think that a person’s end goal in life should be happiness? 

  

2. Is what you’re doing now making you happy? 

  

3. Do you think that what you’re doing now will lead you to the end result of happiness later? 

  

4. Do you think that most people around you are doing things to make themselves happy? 

  

5. Do you think that the people around you who are trying to make themselves truly happy are succeeding? 

  

The carefully compiled statistics follow: 

  

62.5% of the respondents indicated that a person’s end goal in life should indeed be happiness. 

  

75% of those polled also reluctantly admitted that what they were doing was not, in fact, making them happy at the present moment. 

  

87.5% of our elite suggested, however, that what they were doing was going to make them happy later in life. 

  

100% of the sample confessed that the people around them were doing things mostly to make themselves happy. 

  

Finally, 12.5% of the respondents said that the people around them are NOT succeeding in making themselves truly happy. 

  

Based on these comprehensive, in-depth results, I find it obvious that the only way anyone can be truly happy is if they give all of their money and land to me. I suggest this be done immediately before it’s too late.

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 30th, 2006 at 7:56 am and is filed under Humor. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.